By Renee Bodkin
It doesn’t happen often. I’m a busy, busy person. And I’m okay with that. But you don’t really realize how much you need a little alone time until you have it.
Sebastian has his test prep class at Canisius this morning and I volunteered to take him. This means that I have over 2 hours alone. Silly to waste gas and drive all the way home so I drove down the street and am at Spot Coffee.
It’s taken me a little bit to get used to the fact that I am literally – alone. Like I had to pull up this quiet confidence to order alone. Sit alone. And just cherish the time to do whatever I wanted. My brain is on overload. Always on overload. I think I wrote about that recently. The stream of consciousness. I should really look into meditation. But then just the very thought of that stresses me out because I have so much to do. 🙂
So… here I am. Alone. I’m grateful for it. It gives me time to organize my thoughts – kind of – and time to write.
Time to make lists of things I need to do because there is always something that needs to be done. This alone time has also given me this realization… I feel old. I suppose that’s not really true since there are plenty of people around me in my age group. I just still feel old. My oldest son is down the street at Canisius High School preparing to take a step towards something different and something that is just “right” for him. I feel that in my heart. Though it scares me and excites me and worries me all wrapped up in one. Ugh. This parenting thing. Ugh.
Can I just pause for a second… I have a pet peeve. My pet peeve is people who say that they are “too busy to…” My response to this is: if it is important enough to you then you make the time. I make time for things that are a priority to me. I make time for people who are a priority to me. So please, if something is not important enough for you… just say it. Stop saying that you are “too busy” because there is always something that needs to be done. We are all busy. And by you saying that you are “too busy” you are saying that it’s not important to you. So just say that. Rant over.
This alone time is nice. I’ve settled my brain a bit. I enjoyed a chai latte. I’ve paused and just stared off. Time alone is time for reflection. I am grateful. Ever grateful for this alone time.